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This week I had another ultrasound. It is originally meant to test for neural tube issues, however my main reason to go was to check on the baby.
I saw my lovely friend Melinda again. She didn't remember me right away, but as soon as I said IUD, she turned and smiled. "Of course I remember you now." Then she started the ultrasound. As soon as she placed the wand on my belly she said, "yeah, this will be fast." I liked the sounds of that.
She told me that the IUD hasn't moved, and that my cyst is likely to disappear in the next week or two. The baby is measuring at exactly on time, and the heart beat is fabulous. 165 bpm. What wonderful news. She called my husband in and we both got to see the baby together. Oh boy is it ever active! No wonder I can already feel it. It never stopped moving the whole ultrasound! The candy cinnamon hearts probably contributed to that. Then gave me heart burn.
I left the ultrasound with 7 pictures and a huge smile on my face. My husband even took me to McDonald's for a vanilla milkshake. There's nothing quite like having your husband indulge a craving!
Three days later, today, I had an appointment with my OB again. How bitter-sweet.
He already had the test results. The neural tube test came back a 1.0; healthy. I still have a repeat blood test in 4 weeks. He confirmed everything Melinda said, but he clarified something for me. This something is what makes me feel uneasy. He told me that the IUD is actually on top of the placenta, not the kind of 'on top' I thought they explained to me before. He said that the IUD is at the top of my uterus, then the placenta is below it, then the baby in the sac is at the bottom of my uterus.
I guess I had a terrible expression on my face, because he confirmed that nothing has changed from last time, and that it's still in the same "good" position they knew of last time. He said that of all of the places it could be, this is one of the best places. I still wasn't feeling very good about it. I asked about the IUD getting under the placenta and hurting it. I guess I know nothing about these things, because he said with a slightly confused look, "but your placenta is already perfectly attached. That just couldn't happen." When I asked if it could irritate the placenta and cause problems, all he could do was pat my shoulder and tell me that he can't predict the future. Not exactly the words I wanted to hear, but at least I know he's truthful. Then he calmed me by reminding me that the baby is no where near the IUD. I'm pretty certain that this is what he is most concerned about; keeping the IUD away from the baby, not the placenta.
He laid me down and tried to find the baby's heart beat with the doppler. He couldn't pin the baby down because it was moving around so much! We could just start to hear the heartbeat, then there would be a whoosh-whoosh, and then nothing. It kept moving away from the instrument. My OB said he's not worried since that we could hear the heart beat in the background, and we certainly heard the baby moving. We can try again at the next appointment.
I asked him my huge list of questions after that. Is the invite still open to see him every two weeks? Yes. Can I still have an ultrasound every month? Yes. Great, because I started to panic after 4 long weeks of not hearing or seeing the baby. I am being treated with physiotherapy for the serious ankle sprain back in October, is that going to cause a problem? Yes, it might get worse once my body starts producing the hormone to relax my joints. Can I do pregnant yoga? If it's low impact, yes. Can I still clean my house? Surprisingly, no. I have to slow down. I can do maintenance, but I'm not allowed to get on my hands and knees and scrub the hell out of the floors or tubs anymore. Sorry, hubby, you have to do the heavy lifting. Can I finally start having sex?
At least that's what is sounded like to me. Apparently, just like cleaning, I'm supposed to keep things low impact. At this point, I had to ask why not? He finally explained it like this. The IUD currently has not moved from where he wants it to stay for the pregnancy. But he can't guarantee that it's going to stay that way. He thinks that with too much impact, such as doing the deed, it could start to slip out of current position and pose a risk to the baby. Once the baby gets big enough, then there will be less room and the baby's sac will pin it down just using physics. Finally, it was explained to me in a way that made sense! I guess so much information was thrown around at the last appointment I missed asking 'why not'. Naturally, my next question was, can I have an orgasm?
At least that's what is sounded like to me. Isn't that all that really matters? I will say no more on that subject other than Valentine's Day probably won't suck anymore.
After leaving his office with my ultrasound requisition in hand, I felt a mixed bag of emotions. Happy because the OB is not quite upset about anything, he's still feeling the same way he did last month. Shouldn't I feel the same way I did last month? Since I've seen and heard the baby, and had a whole other month to love it, I feel that much more worried that something can happen. Additionally, I thought things were one way, but they are actually a little different. But it doesn't change the situation, so I really should relax again.
I'm telling you, this is not easy. I have so much empathy for women who are having problems with their pregnancies, and for the women I read on BBC that have had or are having miscarriages. Not to belittle their sadness at all, but eventually they can comfort themselves with the knowledge that something was likely wrong with their babies, and God had to take away what he gave so that he could give to them again properly. I am not a very religious person, but I do know that He works in mysterious ways. Regardless, I still think it is very difficult to know that your baby is healthy, that it's science that is threatening it's life. A decision I made to prevent this life from happening is now the very thing that is threatening the life of the thing I want so dearly. Maybe it's just another type of irony, huh?
On a happier note, here is my little nugget, all stretched out and having a blast.